Back To The Old Grind

Back To The Old Grind

So it's back to that time of the year again, the academic year... yay. Much better than holiday time. Hmmmm

It's my second year of university at Nottingham; city of, not trent. I'm not a phegget. And because it is my second year I have elected to move out of student halls and upgrade into a house that I share with 5 other studious boys and girl.

The first thing that had to be sorted in the house before we moved in was, of course, room allocation. All the rooms in the house are plenty good but we all have our preferences and opinions, and it just so happened that there was one room nobody really wanted. So the only fair way to deal with this room was to pull it out of a hat bowl.

Even the girl looked like this

I'm telling you this shit was tense, which unlucky soul was going to spend the next year wishing the name papers had been mixed up ever so slightly differently in that mystical bowl. A hand dived in... Everybody held their breath as the small piece of paper was chosen. Hearts pounded. Hairs greyed. Noses sweated. Pants soiled. The name was read out...
IT WASN'T ME!! Oh boy did I feel relieved. FUCKING WAY MATEEEEE

This was just one of the many beautiful dreams I had following that fateful day.

Because the name that was read out... WAS me...

This is what I felt like (skip to 0:24)
 
Of course it was me, it was as if some power above made sure I would have some material to blog about. Cheers God, Allah, buddha, Vishnu, Guru nanak, Michael Jackson.
However after my initial slight disappointment I remembered that all the rooms were actually fine and I'd be happy with any of the rooms as long as all my stuff would fit.

So here I am in my new room, writing this post and all of my items fit, just about. However there are 1 or 2 or 13 things wrong with the room. Little niggles.

#1 It is the smallest in the house
#2 There is a shelf blocking half the sink so I have to lean just a teeny tiny bit across to use it. (Most annoying thing I have ever experienced. THE WORST THING)
#3 There is a chest of drawers blocking the wadrobe door
#4 A spider family lives in my wadrobe
#5 There is no space to rearrange the room into a better situation. (The current format is believe it or not the optimum use of the space)
#6 Broken skylight shade
#7 Dirty fuck skylight
#8 The ethernet port is under my bed. Obviously
#9 The wireless signal is poor, only in my room though :D
#10 The floor boards pinch my foot skin
#11 Damp marks, one of which looks like a minge  
#12 Water pings off of my skylight like the sound of banging frying pans
#13 The floor gives me splinters

But hey, at least the water is hot and the mattress isn't mouldy (after I got the mouldy one replaced). S'all good. Besides everyone agrees that the room next to mine is the worst anyway now.

Nights Out In Banging Notts (big time big time gurl)(banTARSAURUS REX HAHA)

Nottingham is a actually a pretty live place and after talking to my very, very many other students friends, have realised it's one of the better places in the country for students. There are always 2 places running student events each week day night and plenty of bars to buy horrible shooters in. (With names like "jellyfish").

But this year because I'm more mature and no longer a fresher, and keen about everything. I'm going to look for new places to go to for my super cool nights out; places that don't play sean-a-paul, pitbull, wrong direction, ask whether you have a 50 dollar bill or tell you that the roof is on fire. Basically I'm going to become a hipster arsehole and move away from the mainstream clubs with their mainstream music and mainstream drinks to find better places.

(As of yet I have been to the same Oceana 3 weeks in a row). Sick guy...

During this time I realised something, something powerful,something liberating, something poetic.
Going out to normal clubs, is CRAP.

Think about it, in order to enjoy these places you have to get drunk. One has to take drugs so that these hell shacks everybody loves going to is even remotely enjoyable. I'm sure everybody has been in a club when the white lights come on shortly or the strobes get going and it all becomes very clear how disgusting every single creature human actually is in the club. And don't get me started on the price of drinks (making a 400% mark up on one bottle of spirit). 

when the lights come on

The only thing that I truely enjoy and would enjoy even if I were sober is watching somebody far too drunk still trying to dance even though they can barely stand. I had a beautiful experience I had, watching a total fucking disgrace dancing (swaying her body like a zombie) while leant with her back against a wall and still falling over, backwards. Each time getting propped up by her very helpful friends and repeating the cycle 4 or 5 times before she is draped over a railing by a bouncer. Lovely lady.

(I wrote up to here less than a month into the new uni year, since then I have been literally bummed raped by work and have only now managed to find time again)

Which leads me nicely onto the academic side of university life.

I started this year much like everybody else does, "this is a new year, I'm gonna do sooooo much work. Gonna do all the example sheets go to every lecture"

*BEEP BEEP* (actually my alarm is the "good morning" ringtone from the samsung top of the range alarm tones)

Eurgh 9am lecture FUCK DAT

Me in the morning

However 10am lectures are an absolute joy, within that 1 extra hour all the rest of a whole week of sleep can be felt. Delightful.

But at least I get my example sheets done... when i'm not playing fifa... which isn't often... so i'm not getting my example sheets done...

The most annoying thing about this year though has by far been group work. On my course we often have to do group work, group work with people that are assigned to you and again because of the great God, Allah, buddha, Vishnu, Guru nanak, Michael Jackson in the sky I was assigned 2 dingbats and a stubborn but pleasant Scottish girl. 
One of the dingbats is just plain lazy wereas the other is lazy and maybe stupid I can't tell. He is a international student from the Malaysia campus that nottingham and he has just been an Oriental ball and chain for every piece of work that we do. During a whole 6 week project all he managed to complete despite my best efforts, was 1... single lousy handsketch. A 40 page project and all he did was a handsketch, what a wanker. 

I understand that maybe he didn't understand the work because of the language barrier so I tried to make sure that he did understand. I would ask him if he understood what he had to do, to which he would respond
 
"yes"
But you could tell he was clueless so I'd explain again,
"are you sure now?"
"yes"

But he would still have that confused look, grab the paper we were discussing, gaze at it and put it down looking more confused. And there's nothing I can do except for just saying.

"look, it is clear you don't understand, don't lie to me. I know. I can see your dumb face. Shall I explain it again for the 10th time?" 

 




 

 
 
 

Love Hate

Love Hate

So I thought I'd write about all kinds of things that I love and all kinds of things that I hate. (Apart from Liverpool).

Firstly I hate hipsters; ironic because I have a blog and even worse because it is now ironic. Jesus...
Here is what I'm talking about:

These guys are wankers. Smug, arrogant, douche bags that like things that are dumb or lame because it's ironic, hate things that are cool and fun because "it's too mainstream" and love things which are retarded or weird; and why?
Well most of us won't ever understand because "it's beyond us" and we aren't cool enough to get it.

Hipsters like to think they are the bees knees by being on the cusp music and fashion. Loving a band until their first LP comes out by which time the band has apparently sold out and gone mainstream already.

I hate hipsters because they try so hard to be cool (just the kind of people they dislike), by ignoring social convention to look like they don't care. This just gets themselves into a cycle of mediocre indie rock and scraggly hair cuts.

The worst part about these tight tee'd skinny arseholes is that they take themselves too seriously and don't realise they are a big joke.

What a piece of shit

Linking onto hipsters is the hashtag phenomenon which began it's life on the hipster haven that is twitter. Or used to be before it became too mainstream and Instagram was born.

I don't really have a problem with hashtag-ing on twitter, it sounds pretty stupid but it does serve a purpose. However it has now spread to other sites such as Facebook and Youtube.

GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE. Don't put hashtags on your status. It's not cool, it makes you look like a fucking loser. People that do this should be ashamed to draw breath and take away air from far more deserving human beings... and animals. 

This thing deserves life more than Facebook hashtaggers

 Dish washing

Washing dishes eurgh... I don't now why I hate this so much, but I just do.
It is horrible. A perfect way to spoil a lovely meal:

"mmhhmmm what a delicious potato dauphinoise. Now time to sit back and rela-"
   

"dirty pots and pans"

*does washing up*

"okay now I can relax..."

"I have a plate to wash up"

Just too much horrible-ness.

Anybody that has seen a proper Japanese or Korean horror film will agree with me on this next one.

Little Girl Ghosts
They scare the shit out of me, more so than local pubs. Frightening as fuck.

I would put up a picture, showing a prime example but I scared myself too much looking for one so I'll show you what I look like when watching Girl ghost films. And a picture to cheer me up.

isn't that pleasant

 
It doesn't make sense that ghosts exist so I shouldn't be scared. But I am. They are just too scary, the horrifying black ratty hair in front of the face, the way they stand in the middle of the corridor blocking your path, always clutching some creepy toy and worst of all photo bombing your favourite pictures.

 

Even this took some courage to find and upload

Another thing I hate is Lil Wayne's lyrics. Not so much him but his lyrics:

"I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed"  (is that a good thing to be?)

"My biceps and triceps is ass"  (what does that mean?)

“I’m beneficial/I’ve been official/I say you rappers sweet, tiramissile.”  (making up a word so his lines rhyme)

"I’m a diamond in the rough like a baby in the trash”  (again is that a good thing)

“Pussy good as baby powder…”   (In my experience those two aren't very similar)

Last on my list of hate are daddy long legs.

This little fuckers don't really scare me they just annoy me. A lot.
They have no control over their flight, flapping their legs about as they drift all over your room going near enough to you, so that you have to be ready to swat it away but turning away at the last minute.

Then they die on your floor. Cheers

I don't go into their nest and flap my limbs about being annoying. So stay out of my house.
Actually that point stands for all insects I don't go into your nest so stay out of mine, also I don't tread on your food so leave mine alone.

Shitey shite bags that are shite all the time

Now all the things I do like, which can be summed up in two words Cudi and food.

KiD CuDi is the mother truckin dude. The shit. The man. The dawg. The messiah. This guy makes the best music I have ever heard. Nothing compares. Nothing. If you have not heard his music you need to go to Youtube straight away and do some serious research. This man's music is powerful. He is a genius.
Get it?

face of a genius

I have never heard a bad kid cudi song except for when a beautifully crafted song is chewed up and turned into a dance remix. Kid cudi's music is the closest I have come to being turned on by music.

A guy had a near death experience and saw Mr K.I.D in his vision (youtube Ben Breedlove). So Kid Cudi must be good.  

He doesn't make songs about money cars and bitches unlike a certain Wayne. He does his own thing, makes his own beats and creates everything you hear in the song.
I wish he would tour in the UK :'(

Food

I love it. Food is just lovely.
Creme eggs are like a currency to me.
Pistachios are so delicious and dangerously so when salted.
Noodles. Burritos. Fajitas. Stir fry. Curry. Pies. Burgers. Pasta. Anything that came from a tagine. Fruits. Prawns. ehiewnfwnfnkdndc it's all so good.

Sushi is glorious and when done right is possibly one the most masterful types of food. And certainly not bland (you know who you are).

Water btw is very underrated.  I very much like water.


And it's so mainstream it's not mainstream anymore.