Endurance Events - The Crapper Half Of The Olympics

Endurance Events - The Crapper Half Of The Olympics

So I had a conversation with a friend of mine, I use the term friend very loosely, and it sparked a debate (which I won) about whether endurance events at the olympics are as good as the other non-endurance events. We're talking sprinting, team games, gymnastics, track cycling and field events against marathons, anything over 5000m and long distance cycling. 

First off I love the olympics and athletics, I have spent 70% of my waking life this summer watching all of it. And to be clear I do not think endurance events are easier or less technical and don't respect them any less than all the other events (I'm lying). I just think they are less interesting, unspectacular and sometimes (entirely) retarded.
Lets start with what inspired all this; my friend mentioned he is friends with one of the Great British walkers in the 50km walk (whatever it is called). This is the King of retarded events. Firstly the 50km mighty walk is just lame, there is nothing cool about walking. They might be walking far but seriously who cares. They don't even charge people for it and people barely come to watch it happening.

Nobody really likes or takes interest in it apart from the athletes that participate. Try and name a marathon runner not called Paula Radcliffe... But everybody knows who Bolt is or Michael Phelps

It's boring to watch, nothing much amazing happens and their hips when they "walk"... WTF. Im no expert but I dont walk like a belly dancer, this event should be renamed the 50km retard shimmy.

If a competitor tries to speed up or close the gap. RED CARD you're not walking.

I don't get why any body would want to compete. It's not as good as a normal marathon because you aren't running; it's like the marathon but slower and more retarded.

Plus you have to have the pyshique of a concentration camp prisoner. Nobody thinks malnutrition is sexy.

The fact is, the events where you go flat out or do something to your max are far more interesting and watchable than the endurance events. They're goddamn cool.
 

For example a sprinter can say:
 

"I'm the fastest human in the world, I can reach the highest top speed of anybody" ..... SprintLAD

Or a weightlifter can say:

"Nobody can lift heavier than me, I FLIP CARS" ..... MassLAD

But endurance people:

"I'm the quickest... over a certain distance"
lameLAD

Hurdlers - cool
gymnastics - ninjas
javelin - Spartans
hammer throw - vikings
Sprinters - Cheetahs 

50km walkers - gazelles with uneven legs

Endurance just isn't as good. 

There are no events such as:

5 hour Shot put - who can shot put the most times 

Jump Until You're Tired - (That would be a sack race... on the spot. Seriously though the sack race should be brought to the olympics. That was MY RACE on sportsday).

3 Day Long Jump - I dont even know what that would be.

Tread Water Until You Drown

Anyway all this doesn't matter because endurance is still better than the horse riding.