Ladies - Mentally Ill Part 1

Ladies - Mentally Ill Part 1

 

I'll jump straight in and say that I think 80% of girls are either mentally ill or display symptoms of mental illness. I say girls because most women above a certain age luckily to grow out of their sickness. 

I believe this is what most girls look like

Here's just a few things I'm talking about:

Girls are hugely over sensitive about pretty much everything and turn most things into DRAAAMAAAA. 

Whether it's just a bit of healthy banter, light hearted criticism or a normal social situation, girls will find some way to feel personally insulted and abused.

A beautiful example of this illness was while at an aquaintances birthday night out. Somebody had a little a fart. 

We're all human, it's normal, maybe not socially acceptable but hey, who cares... Another girl did, thats who. She broke down into tears 

"how could she do that at XXX's party, who does that!" Mental illness.

Now, I have a habit of upsetting a particular friend of mine almost every week...

(after talking about some of the weird things girls wear)

The girl: "Pink tie dye jeans, haha, it's so me to have something like that"

Me: chortle "lordy lord, tie dye pink jeans" (im thinking, "lol pink tie dye jeans how retarded nobody would have that")

*we both laugh about it*  

10 minutes later she comes out wearing pink fucking jeans 

Me: "hahahahahah, you actually have those" BIG MISTAKE

Another example only later that day:

After changing out of her delightful pink jeans and into normal blue jeans, she points out that

"hah we are wearing the same jeans" 

To be clear, she had light blue jeans that were tight and I had dark blue jeans that were not. In the world of jeans where 99% of jeans are blue except for the 1% pink, this could not be counted as "the same jeans". So of course i let know of this small error in judgement and of course BIG MISTAKE.  

But this was all nothing a good hug couldn't sort out. Hugs turn despair into massive love in a matter of seconds for girls. Which brings me nicely to...

Mood Swings

hooo damn you do not want to be in the room when one of these demons come around and definitely not be the subject of them. 

One minute life is great, you're thinking "Oh boy what a wonderful day, the sun is shining i have fajitas for dinner this is great. And I'm enjoying the company of my female friend" 

BOOM

"omg what just happened". A motherf****** mood swing bitch; your whole life feels like it's been hit by a hurricane and you better find somewhere to hunker down while the storm passes.

A pyroclastic flow of emotions

Next up Paranoia and worrying about what people think

Girls spend, I would accurately say 65% of their time (we spend 35% of our time asleep) worrying about what people think of them and paranoid that other mentally ill girls don't like them and talk about them behind their back. 

Enemies

Guys rarely have enemies or genuine rivals, but it seem like you girls have a whole host of people you do not like and do not like you. So many times I've heard:

"oh I can't go out with them one of the girls is a right bitch" 
"She was the biggest bitch at school we both know that we hate eachother but pretend to be civil and nice" (wtf... mentally ill)
"oh no this is gonna be awkward I don't like her"

"This girl is a bitch she did something mildly wrong once 4 years ago"

I don't get it. What? Why? Just be happy?

 Insecure

Also why so insecure? Girls have huge self image issues (i'll get on to that later) so feel the need to be constantly reassured and are always fishing for comments.

Posting pictures on Facebook like, "I look so fat urghh <3"

Whats the heart about? If you look so horrible why post it? Why tag yourself? But of course in comes upwards of three hundred comments:
 

"awhh babe <3 you look so SKINNY. ly <3"
"love you too, but no, YOU look skinny <3<3<3" 

"I love your hair"
"Great everything you're so fit"
"I hate you <3 so hot xxxx"
"I love your elbows"

I wish somebody would comment "yeah you look terrible, delete this picture"    

More about Facebook and photos. Whats up with all the posing, the duck lips, the mong head lean, the slut hair push up, the leg bend. Just smile, it looks nice.

Idiots

How lovely

In my opinion this is what is the most mentally ill about women, body image. Dear god they have it wrong. So first i'll show the difference between what women mean when they say curvy and what men mean.     

men - "mmhmm concave hip to waist ratio"

what women mean - convex

Curvy means small waist wider hips, simple. Girls just don't get this, all they see when they look at the photo on the left is a woman who isn't fat. 

"Therefore she must be thin, really thin. Men only like thin, I must now not eat anything" Wrong

There are some women that still look good DESPITE being too thin but that is BECAUSE they still have good HIP TO WAIST RATIO. 

They look good despite of, not because of being thin. 

Please fix your head ladies, fat isn't curvy. 

Models make men sick. 

You can have a nice shape even if you are thinner than normal you can have a nice shape if you are bigger than normal. 

Stop being mentally ill. 

kill it, kill it with fire

Next on the agenda is exam stress

Most girls get 4-5 times more stressed than guys during exams. Why? It doesn't help you. CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Girls end up doing twice as much revision and score no better at the end. Great life. 

Another friend of mine was so stressed during exams you could actually see the stress in her. Not her behavoir her actual appearance, I had never seen this before, not pretty. 

She would take 2 minutes breaks when we forced her too then would say "I need to work BYE". Meanwhile I'm in the next room relaxing... chillin... flying a remote control helicopter, the important things in life. Cooking a stir fry.

With all my other MALE friends.